Hide-Seek-Run
by GlitchGirl23
Summary: Belated Birthday story for Ranger. The Merry Men have a tradition of making Ranger leave the office on his birthday by making him play a game of some sort. This year they decide that Stephanie would be the best player to go along. In this short story of thrill Stephanie pulls out all the stops to hide from the man on his mission.
1. Chapter 1

**J: Ever since I've been rereading all of Janet's books and reading fantastic fanfictions I've been attacked my hundreds of ideas for stories of my own. This one was inspired when I learned that Ranger's birthday had come and gone, I honestly don't know when his birthday is I just know I missed it XD I am aware of my grammatical errors in here but I am horrible at editing, I do not have a BETA and I was eager to share this with you other Babe lovers :)**

**Thanks to Financebabe for the encouragement and pre-read for advice on minor bits.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own any Janet Evanovich characters.  
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**P.S. This is going to be a short story AND it is Joe friendly despite them not being together. I like Joe so I see no reason to turn him into a monster.  
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It had started out like any other day, I was low on cash for rent, all my FTAs were hiding from and me and Joe had hit the 'off' switch on our relationship. Our argument had been a doozey with plenty of hand gestures and yelling that could be heard all the way to Newark. Or at least loud enough for Joe's neighbor to hear and send the news travelling down the Burg grapevine for my mother to hear about it less than an hour later.

Supper on the night of our fight was filled with my mother's usual spiel about me not getting any younger, to give Joe some time to cool down and for me to look into another job.

I let my mother continue these rants and chants each time because I was a good daughter and I knew it made her feel better to say something that was supposed to be as good advice. Unfortunately I was the daughter that tried to fly off of rooftops, so the good advice doesn't really sink in until I'm getting shot at by one of my skips or whoever decided to kill me that month.

With all the negative energy hanging over me I decided to change the scenery and gave my friend/mentor/sometimes-lover/part-time boss Ranger a call asking for work. One thing that I will never take for granted is the good company and friendship I receive from Ranger's Merry Men. They liked me since I could give them a good laugh once in a while, and I didn't mind admiring their finely tuned bodies when they weren't looking.

I didn't know why but when I walked onto the fifth floor of Rangeman I had a twisty uneasy feeling in my stomach. Had I given it more attention I would have realized it was my Hungarian intuition giving me a warning.

Each cubicle I passed got me a smile and greeting including Lester's usual greeting of, "Morning Beautiful." Having slept poorly earning me a hairdo from Hell that was being contained by an elastic the nickname Beautiful made me feel just a little better.

Things went smoothly with the searches for the first two hours, when my computer decided to freeze on me I took it as a sign to take a break.

Lester, Tank and Bobby were in the break room already snacking on healthy sandwiches and talking about something in hushes tones. When I entered the room the talking stopped and all three smiled at me. Knowing those smiles weren't innocent I stopped before reaching the small fridge, "Alright what rumours are you boys spreading around now?"

Lester glanced at the open door then gestured for me to join them by taking the seat next to him. Thrilled to be let in on some office gossip I took the offered seat. The thrill vanished when Lester slapped a handcuff on my left wrist and attached the other cuff to the arm rest on the chair. My mouth agape in astonishment I squeaked, "What is with the cuffs?!"

Bobby held his hands up in surrender while Tank went to the kitchen door to do look out, "We need your help but you'd probably bolt before giving us a chance to fully explain the problem."

Suspicion coiled through my brain but curiosity already had my mouth moving, "What kind of problem?"

Lester leaned forward, "Every year for Ranger's birthday we set up a game that makes him take a day off from work."

At the word 'game' suspicion began to restrict my heart beats, "I already don't like the sounds of this, take the cuffs off."

"Let me finish! This year we thought maybe you'd want to play the game with Ranger, it wouldn't put you in any danger and it's just for one day." Lester's eyes flicked to Tank in the doorway watching for a signal that the person being spoken of didn't catch them plotting.

Suspicion and curiosity came to an agreement on my next question, "Exactly what kind of game are we talking about?"

Bobby answered with his own question, "What is Ranger the best at?"

A burn built up on my face thinking about the answer, "I'm not sharing my sex life with you! I've told you that thousands of times!"

Tank spluttered fighting back a snicker with a blush of his own showing under his dark skin, Lester grinned, "One day Beautiful. No, what is Ranger's best skill in the field."

That was a no brainer, "Finding people."

"Right and he's the best at it because he enjoys it. That's why we thought a game of Hide-N-Seek would be awesome for Ranger's birthday this year." Bobby was smiling as wide as Lester he was so excited about the idea.

I shook my head, "You guys are insane. Hide-N-Seek would be an insult to Ranger's skills. It would take him seconds to find me."

"Not if you're constantly in motion and Ranger gets his resources taken away." Lester and Bobby watched my expression as I mulled over this. At first I thought they wanted me to hide in a closet or under a bed here in the building. What they really wanted was a game of 'Stephanie pretends to be FTA.'

Whenever I had crazy psycho stalkers after me I usually ended up being chased in some way or other. In those scenarios I got a good dose of adrenaline to keep me going and vigilante. The thought of Ranger chasing after me spiked my heart beat up to rabbit speed. "I guess it would be fair if Ranger didn't have his army and toys."

"So you'll do it?" The eyes Bobby and Lester were giving me were like that of children waiting for their parents to agree to get a puppy.

Who in their right mind could say no to a pair of adorable eyes like that? "I'll do it under one condition."

"Name it."

"I get to keep a stash of contraband sweets." I loved Ella's cooking but the none-sweetened food available in the kitchen got old after one day.

Bobby took out the handcuff key and unlocked my wrist, "Deal. Meet us at Shorty's tonight and we'll go over all the details of how the game will work."

Lester's eyes flicked to Tank in time to see his hand waving a warning. A second later Ranger walked passed Tank and set his eyes on the four of us sitting, "Babe what did you do that they needed to cuff you?"

Wanting a little revenge for my sore wrist I jerk my thumb at Lester, "He was trying to interrogate me about my sex life."

Behind Ranger Tank's mouth twitched at the corners trying to restrain his laughter. Ranger slid his stare over to Lester, "Mats tomorrow 0500." The punishment given Ranger gestured with his head for me to follow him. As I got up I gave Lester and Bobby a wink. I'd probably have to watch my back for Lester for a while but he should know better than to cuff me.

"I saw that." Ranger whispered this into my ear as he walked me back to my cubicle with his arm draped around my shoulders.

The Merry Men clearly wanted to keep the game a surprise so I played innocent, "Saw what?"

We stopped at my cubicle and Ranger gave me one of his scrutinizing looks that told me he was amused but not happy about whatever I was doing. He moved in closed so he could whisper right in my ear, "If I have to I will drag you upstairs for my own interrogation."

My nipples stood at attention and a hot flash coursed through my body. The temptation to push Ranger's buttons for that interrogation to happen sat on the very tip of my tongue; instead I went with throwing Ranger a hint, "Maybe we can play Interrogation on your birthday?"

Ranger's eyes studied my face to follow that tidbit to the truth, he figured out something because he gave me a small smile made by the twitches of his mouth. He planted a kiss on my forehead and left leaving me to wonder just what he thought was going to happen on his birthday.


	2. Chapter 2

**J: I seriously underestimated the Janet fanfiction following, I mean I've NEVER gotten that many followers or reviews for just one chapter before, I kinda just sat there staring at my inbox for a while trying to convince myself that I wasn't seeing things. I really appreciate you all giving this story a chance, even though I personally do not have a lot of faith in my own writing for this fandom. But you won't know until you try right?**

**THANKS TO: Gavri, Guest (THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW THE ACTUAL BIRTHDAY DATES!), Trhodes9, Dopey4189, leah-audreysgramma, DesperatelySeekingMyRanger-MM, Mantlady, MIBbabe, Babesrus2, Suchababe, James Birdsong, Nojoe, Mooch, Deviates322, Erdi99, Angela Mueller, Sbabe, Barb4psu, Cookie105, and Bothsidesofthecoin.**

**J: Some of your usernames really made me smile :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Janet Evanovich characters.**

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**Chapter Two**

****As the day went on my mind continued to give me a list of ideas and scenarios for Ranger's birthday, all of them varied in what could go wrong from Ranger catching me ten minutes in, my car exploding before I can even start, or the weather just being plain crappy. One thing that never changed was how the rest of the day would play out after Ranger caught me. My toes curled and drool pooled in my mouth every time I thought of the ending.

During one of my bathroom breaks I put a call out to a couple friends telling them to meet me and the guys at Shorty's that night. Ranger wasn't allowed to have his Merry Men and toys for the game but there was no mention of what I was allowed. My luck worked for me when I was finding people, not so much on hiding, so I was going to need all the help I could get.

After that work seemed to go by in slow motion. The search engines took their sweet time running a single name, the guys in the cubicles next to mine were whispering to each other and the digital read out on my phone would change every half hour rather than every minute. When the numbers changed to three o'clock I gave up. I shut down the computer and went to the elevator. I didn't know what I wanted to do so I closed my eyes and let my finger decide. When the elevator stopped I opened my eyes to the foyer of Ranger's seventh floor apartment.

Sighing I went in and dug out the black yoga pants and black tank top that Ella saved for me among Ranger's various uniforms. I hated exercising just as much as I hated waiting around for time to go by faster. At least with jogging on the treadmill I'd be too busy concentrating on not tripping over my own feet than how much time was going by.

Back in the elevator I felt my phone vibrate on my hip. I rolled my eyes at the name on the caller ID and answered, "Yes?"

"Are you alright Babe?" There was the slightest undertone of teasing to Ranger's voice. I imagined whoever was on monitor duty let him know the second I stepped back in range dressed in workout clothes.

"I was going stir crazy in my cubicle." It was true and it partially answered his question seriously.

"Maybe I should send Bobby down there to make sure you don't need a CAT scan." The teasing undertone was now just right out in the open.

_'Something has him in a good mood.' _"You send Bobby down and I won't talk to you until next week." It wasn't my best threat but it was impossible to be upset with that delicious laugh on the other end of the phone.

"Babe." He disconnected at the same moment I walked out of the elevator into the GYM.

There were a few guys already in the swing of their workouts so I was spared from the raised eyebrows and disbelieving stares I knew I would have gotten.

I went straight to the treadmill and set myself up for a fast walk. I would have tolerated the torture I was putting myself through if I'd had an iPod to listen to but since I was without I focused on something else. My brain decided to focus on Ranger's the birthday the day after tomorrow.

When Ranger said he was two months older than me I didn't think he'd meant to the day. Having a birthday number in common was nice, it meant I never had to worry about our ages ever causing a problem. If Ranger wasn't such a recluse with his personal life I would have be able to get him some kind of present. Thinking a little more on that thought I decided letting Ranger chase me all over Trenton to his heart's content was probably a good enough gift.

"You're not going to achieve much just by walking fast Beautiful." I just about lost my footing from Lester's voice breaking through my concentration.

Continuing despite the heart attack I looked over at Lester on the treadmill to my right, "All I'm trying to achieve right now is making time go by faster."

I wasn't surprised by Lester's response, "We could do something together that take up plenty of time." The joke made me smile but the eyebrow wiggle had me laughing. I've seen the eyebrow wiggle hundreds of times since working Rangeman and it always amuses me. Probably because it's so out of place on such a handsome face.

On the topic of time I stopped the treadmill to see how long I'd been walking for. My legs told me over an hour, my phone disagreed by showing only fifteen minutes had gone by with my mind wandering down Ranger Road. "Arrrggh." The physical expression of my agitation came out louder than intended, I knew this by the snicker I heard from Lester and the sideways glances from Hal and Cal in the wresting ring behind me. I saw the glances thanks to the wall facing the treadmill being covered with mirrors.

Slumped forward in defeat I asked no one in particular, "Think Ranger would mind if I ditched work to go chase down a skip?"

Lester being the closest to hear was the one to answer, "Beautiful you could go into his office and just twiddle your thumbs and he wouldn't care. You've got him wrapped around your little finger."

Ranger had admitted once that I held the power in our odd relationship. Figuring this was as good a time as ever to test that out I said my farewells to the sweaty Merry Men and went up to seven for a clean up shower, there was no need to scare my skip off by reeking of body odor and testosterone.

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**J: I know this was short and kinda pointless but I didn't feel like the flow would work out well with just cutting straight to Shorty's. The next chapter is going to be the big group meeting to lay down all the rules for their ultimate game of Hide and Seek :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**J: Once again all you JE fanatics have blown me away with your reception to my story, you have no idea how happy it makes me! I'm going to save you all my soppy feelings and get right to business :)**

**THANKS TO: Mandyh, Sbabe, Dawn276, Cookie105, Barb4psu, Babesrus, Gavri, Masterb2(X2), Trhodes9, Anna1991, Jkgk, Financebabe, Dkz27, MIBbabe, BatmanBabe-21, Deviates322, and Bookaddictinfla.**

**J: One more thing before we start, just wanted to share with you guys my favourite review I got. This was from Babesrus "Burg inventiveness versus military cunning." This is EXACTLY what I am doing, I sat there smiling and giggling at this review for ages!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any JE characters.**

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**Chapter Three**

One thing that I often forget but should really remember is that the guys are a lot more vocal once they get off duty and into Shorty's. I was reminded of this from the roar of voices that called out to me when I walked through the door. Smiling at the guys I went over to the table that they always managed to have to themselves. There was Lester, Tank, Bobby, Hal, Cal, and Hector. I expected all of them except Hector. I liked Hector just as much as I liked the others but he wasn't often seen with the regular group in public.

The table that I considered to be Rangeman property was one of those large booths with a cushioned bench halfway around the table. There was plenty of room for me to join them but my friends wouldn't be able to fit, "Hope you don't mind but I invited some friends to this strategy meeting. We're going to need another table."

Since the boys had already gotten one beer into them they readily agreed to drag another table over to theirs. Just as Cal pushed the table against theirs I heard the other half of the party arrive, "When you said some Rangemen would be here I didn't think you meant all of them."

Lula, Connie, Mary Lou and Valerie stood behind me eying the Merry Men like they were Christmas and Easter presents all pushed together under one tree.

Greetings and introductions went over well considering the nature of the two sides. Lula didn't hold back and openly called Tank "Honey Bear" earning him a good ribbing from Bobby. Lester told Valerie and Mary Lou that he'd found heaven only to find it tainted by marriage. Connie swooped in with the "girls" to point out that she was happily divorced, earning her the spot where Cal had been sitting next to Lester.

I took the spot at the end of the booth so I had Valerie sitting on my left and Hector sitting at my right. Drinks were ordered and the meeting got started.

"Alright so what's this all about?" Lula sat across from me next to Tank.

"The day after tomorrow is Ranger's birthday. These lovely gentlemen persuaded me to play a game of Hide-n-Seek that covers all of Trenton." Out of habit and imagination Connie and Lula fanned themselves.

"So you called us out here to brag about your upcoming birthday activity with one of the hottest men alive?" Mary Lou's voice was teasing obviously trying to get a reaction out of the boys. Which it did judging by the beat red blush on Hal's face and look of mock hurt from Lester.

Fighting off a snicker to keep from embarrassing poor Hal any further I answered, "No. I called you all out here tonight to see if you'd be interested in helping me. Since it's going to be on a Wednesday I figured you house wives would want to get some freedom while the kids are in school."

"I could definitely go for a free day. I'll get Snuggums to babysit the girls." There was a collective eye roll from the girls at Val's nickname for Albert. The guys were smart and didn't ask.

"How exactly do you want us to help?" Connie had a similar but different situation then Valerie and Mary Lou. Connie's job was to play bodyguard for Vinnie at the office, she also was expected to bond out the unfortunates that didn't want to stay in jail until their court date.

"I was hoping to get you to run diversions and surveillance on Ranger." Ranger had the Merry Men and I had the Jersey Women.

Mary Lou snapped her fingers, "I get it, one of us stalks Ranger as he tries to find you and if he gets too close we call in backup to let you run away."

"Oh let me tail Ranger, I'm a sneaky woman, he won't spot me until your skinny ass is halfway across Trenton." Lula's enthusiasm to tail Ranger was met by a wall of silence. Out of all the people present Lula was the most likely to be spotted in a heart beat.

It was Tank that saved the day, "It would be smarter to rotate surveillance shifts. Ranger will expect to see the same car following him if it goes on longer than an hour."

Connie leaned forward to point at Tank, "You basically just said Steph is going to get caught in an hour."

"No I think she'll last longer than that." Tank was getting a squinty glare from Connie, Valerie and myself.

Bobby got a sly smile on his face as he pulled out a small notebook, "How long are you willing to bet on?"

I crossed my arms and gave Bobby an incredulous look, "You're going to start a betting pool on this? I'm already insulted by your betting on my cars' life span."

Bobby ducked his head a little in shame but he didn't stop smiling, "How about you get some of the winnings win or lose?"

Free money was always nice but this felt like being bought entertainment, no offense to Lula's old profession but I knew I was above that. "How about a better idea? If I last past noon I get 25 percent of the pool, if I make it to the end of the day I win all the money."

The Merry Men exchanged a group glance, meaning they'd probably had this betting pool going already, then turned back to me, "You got a deal."

If the thought of Ranger hunting me down wasn't enough motivation then the winnings would keep me on my toes for sure.

"Hey now I want in on this. If we're gonna be part of this game us ladies should get a chance to win some money." Lula pulled out her red leather purse and pulled out a 100, "I bet your ass my girl can last until two o'clock."

There was a scramble as all my other friends pulled out their purses and wallets. With each bill and wager of time I added all the earnings up in my mind. After Tank pulled out two hundred and wagered my capture at five I gave up from the headache that disagreed with me doing so much math.

Bobby had kept up with the bets by scribbling each one down into the tiny notebook. Once he put in Tank's bet he gave a low whistle, "If you win Bombshell your days of bounty hunting are over."

_'No more P.O.S cars? No more long showers washing garbage out of my hair? No more nagging from my mother to get a job at the button factory?' _"Ranger is never going to catch me." Filled to the brim with hope of a padded bank account I chugged back my bottle of beer.

"Easy there Beautiful, don't go planning your trip to paradise just yet. We need to go over the rules." Lester reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper with words written in black magic marker.

The paper was handed down the table until it was given to me. Looking down the list of rules I felt the beer I'd just chugged churn in my stomach. "What are the rules?" Since Mary Lou and Lula sat further down she and Lula couldn't see the writing. Keeping my voice calm I read out the rules.

1. No leaving Trenton.

2. The game starts at 6am.

3. The game ends at 9pm.

4. To be the Winner you must be on the 5th floor of the RangeMan building by 9pm.

5. No stun guns, tranquilizers or handcuffs.

6. No police involvement.

7. If injured the hospital or RangeMan infirmary is considered a time out/safe zone.

8. No hiding in one location for more than an hour, Rule 7 being the exception.

9. No use of any guns ex. paintball guns.

10. With the exception of Rule 7, hiding in RangeMan before 9pm declares a forfeit.

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**J: I'd love to know what you think about these rules, as well I am aware that I had Hector, Cal and Hal present but didn't have them participate in any real way. This is due to my lack of experience in writing large group dialogues. I'll see what I can do next chapter but no promises. I would also like some feed back on how I did with Lula, Connie, Mary Lou and Valerie.**

**Here's a nice quote for all you babes to mull over until the next chapter.**

**" **If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second." **- Johnny Depp**


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